Moving forward

What's being asked of us, and how I'm moving forward post-election

I’ve been debating what to say. If anything at all. I’m not sure I have anything new to add to the conversation, and it seems every time I say something online, I regret it. I have not enjoyed being online these days.

I’ve always had a love/hate relationship with social media - but these days, the latter seems to be getting the best of me. I interviewed a woman yesterday who has chosen to “opt out” of everything online, and for a moment, it made me jealous. The ability to just check out..and be. With your kids. Your family. Nature. It sounds like heaven.

The world is angry right now, on a lot of levels. Rightfully so. I find in times like this, the best thing to do is to listen more and talk less. But equally, I also know we’re all looking for connection, understanding, and to feel seen, myself included.

So, I share this post with hesitation but equally with hope.

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I lost several hundred followers (I hate that term) the day after the election when I shared a story encouraging us all to seek understanding, compassion, and unity instead of fueling anger and fear.

I could care less about follower count or losing/gaining followers. It literally means nothing to me. What did bother me, though, was what it meant—the undertone. The message was clear.

Unity is not welcome here. We’re not ready for it.

And it wasn’t just from one side - it was from both. Those on the left were angry I wasn’t “angrier,” and those on the right just simply weren’t interested.

To say it was disheartening would be an understatement.

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I sent an email this morning to a mentor, and Buddhist teacher, about how I’m finding it difficult to lead with compassion during this climate.

Not complaining, but rather sharing the internal tension I’m feeling. How I myself am struggling with complex emotions and feelings towards our country and the election results, and yet I feel called to work towards peace. When quite frankly, I just don’t want to.

I get why people are angry. Our country and these systems have failed us ALL.

As an American, I hold that anger/guilt/fear in one hand. But as a practicing Buddhist, I’m working as hard as I can to hold understanding and compassion in the other. And I’m struggling.

I feel the tension rising within me. And I feel it in my fellow Americans. In the “unfollows”. I get it. I see it. I feel it, too.

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So what do we do?

I’m not sure. As my tearful email to my teacher, this morning revealed, sometimes there are no answers, and you just have to stay in it.

But if you, like me, have been struggling this week - I wanted to offer a few things I’m committing to moving forward that feel nourishing right now.

• Leaving the circus. Getting offline. Turning off the news/podcasts/Instagram. I’ve been really invested in this election (and in many social justice movements this past year) and I need to tap out. I put a lot of energy into this election that I’ll never get back. Time I could have been investing in locally to really make change - and that feels more important to me now than keeping up with the news. I’m putting my energy back into: 1. My family. 2. My local community. 3. small, local, social justice movements I can actually impact.

• Just being with my emotions, compassionately. Allowing myself to be angry, hurt, confused - and not feel a need to rush to unity. I know it will come. But for now, I’m not there.

• Reaching out to friends. Talking it out. Checking in on other people.

• And the hardest one - recognizing my privilege, my blindspots, and my role as a white woman getting us here. As difficult as this may feel - we are all responsible for where our country is at today. We may not have consciously chosen this - but if we carry any privilege (and if you’re reading this, the answer is YES, you carry privilege), we’ve benefited from some of these systems. And although we may not have created them, it is our responsibility to help change them. And that falls on all of us. Myself included.

  Have I done all I could? Have I stood up for those who didn’t have a voice? Have I stood up for marginalized communities? Or have I, at times, without even knowing it, turned a blind eye?

  I think we all have ways we like to see ourselves (kind, decent, good), and we hold onto those convictions tightly. But we ALL could do more for our sisters/brothers - especially our marginalized communities. We have failed them - regardless of how you voted - we have failed them. Now is the time for honest reflection, for all of us - but especially my white sisters and brothers. The responsibility falls heaviest on our shoulders.

Outside of that, I’m doing my best to just breathe, go on long walks, eat foods that I know will fuel me, and spend time with my kids. More time in the sun and less on a screen.

My heart is still hurting. My stomach still in knots. And yet, I feel a glimmer of hope. I think this election was an eye-opener for so many of us. Of how so many in our country are hurting and how much change is needed.

I was about to write that our country is broken - but maybe we’ve always been broken. Since our founding. We’ve always been divided - we just brushed it under the rug. Maybe some of this coming to light is good. God, please let it be.

I have no beautiful words to close this. Mainly because my heart feels a little numb, so I’ll close by asking us all to move forward, lightly, responsibly, and consciously. Praying that we all rise to the occasion.

We can’t change our country’s policies (at least not today), but we can reach out to a neighbor. We can reach out to our black, queer, trans, and marginalized friends and check in on them. We can donate to local charities and organizations. We can read a book on the history of our country and some of the systems/policies that got us here. We can make a difference in our homes and in our communities. And now is that time.

Sending you ALL love and peace. Today, and always.

xoxo