Living Your Yoga - Retreat Reflections
Reflections from hosting an international women's retreat in Panama
Last week, I hosted my first international women’s retreat in Panama for 24 women. Although I’ve been home for a few days, I jumped right back into “mom mode” when I landed and haven’t quite had the time yet to decompress or process all that happened. So I’m taking a few minutes this morning to try and put on paper how I’m feeling.
There are a few things in our lives that are hard to describe with words. The moment our child was born, a sunset, or the feeling of falling in love. Our English language fails us at times. This retreat is one of those experiences for me. I know the words I share here won’t capture the depth and breadth of what the 24 other women and I experienced this week, but I will certainly try.
Living Our Yoga
The retreat itself was incredible. It was held at the gorgeous Sansara Resort in Cambutal, Panama, at the southernmost tip of North America. It is literally where the jungle meets the ocean and is an untouched paradise. For a full week, 24 other women and I practiced yoga and meditation, surfed, went on waterfall hikes, swam in the ocean, took long walks along the black sandy beaches, and, most importantly, laughed and learned alongside each other.
The women ranged from their mid-twenties to early seventies and were from all walks of life. Some were mothers, others not. Some were in a partnership, others not. Some worked outside of the home, others retired, students, or at home with young kids. All of our stories were unique, yet we all had one thing in common. We all came with open hearts, a clear mind, and the intention to learn something new about ourselves.
The week was designed as a yoga and meditation retreat, with each of us at a different point in our “practice.” While the asanas (the actual shapes we make with our bodies) were part of the week, they were only one part. The week was about something so much bigger. It was about truly Living Your Yoga, putting the practice (and the philosophy) to work in our everyday lives.
At its core, and in the most simplest of terms, yoga means “to yoke.” To connect. To bring together. We connected not just with each other but also with a deeper part of ourselves. We practiced meditation not for the intention of quieting our minds but in the hopes of learning about ourselves, of witnessing ourselves. Meditation simply means “to know thyself.” That’s it. It is simply a practice of knowing oneself.
We walked away from this week more connected, “yoked” (to each other and ourselves) and knowing ourselves in a deeper, clearer way. That was the real yoga we practiced on this retreat. How we “practiced” looked different for each of us, but the intention was all the same - to Live Our Yoga as a practice of walking ourselves home.
I reminded the women that the goal of our practice throughout the week (whatever that “practice” looked like—meditating, journaling, etc.) was not to become better people or more patient mothers/partners/women but to reconnect with ourselves because the greatest love we’re all still searching for is our own. And in many ways, this week gave us an opportunity to practice cultivating that.
What I learned
While I thought I had some sense of what this week would be like and how it would feel, what I actually walked away with was so much more meaningful (and humbling) than I ever could have expected. I learned so much about myself as a teacher (that I’ll share more about in a post later this week), the human condition, and what it means to be in the company of 24 other women. While I’m still processing what I learned, here are a few things that are at the top of my mind right now.
Everyone is suffering
The first Noble Truth in Buddhism is that suffering is inevitable. Pain and heartache are just as much a part of life as joy and beauty. They are intertwined. No one, no matter our life circumstances, is immune from heartache and pain.
As I sat in a circle with 24 other women and heard them all speak, it was such a powerful reminder that no one gets out of this human experience untouched. No matter where we’re at on our “journey” (for lack of a better word), there will always be pain points in our lives that we are trying to heal. It doesn’t matter how strong or successful, how aware or how “healed” we are - we are ALL on a never-ending journey home, and we all have vulnerable soft spots in our lives.
The beauty and joy come from not trying to change that or wish it away but rather from understanding that suffering and heartache are not personal—they’re universal—and you’re not in it alone.
We aren’t meant to do any of this alone
It can be so easy to feel alone in this world. Most of us are surrounded by people all day. From our kids to our partners, our coworkers, community members, and people online. We are surrounded by people, yet live such isolated lives.
I say this often, but we have lost the “WE” in wellness. We’ve forgotten each other. Weeks like this are so important because they give us a chance to be in community with other women. They allow us to feel held and seen by others while equally offering the same in return.
So many of us are strong/independent women, which is a beautiful thing. But we’ve pulled ourselves out of circles and forgotten what it feels like to be held and seen. Sitting in circles with other women (most of whom you’ve just met), locking eyes with the woman next to you, feeling their hand on your leg or back as you speak, and allowing your words/story to be witnessed changes everything for us as women. We are not meant to do any of this alone.
All we want is to be seen and to belong
At the core of everything, what it all comes down to is that we all just want to be seen. We want someone to not only witness our stories but also lean in closer and say, “I see you, I love you, and I’m not going anywhere.”
Our most basic human need is to belong to a group and feel safe. While so much has changed throughout evolution, in many ways, our needs are still the same: to feel like we belong, to feel safe enough to share our most vulnerable stories and feelings, and to have the person next to us not only stay but lean in closer and say, “Tell me more.”
Our world right now feels scary and overwhelming for many. Sacred and safe spaces like this are so important for women to feel a sense of belonging, to be seen exactly as they are, without filters or masks, and to feel safe enough to be witnessed.
Ovearll, this week in Panama was so different from what I had expected (although I’m not sure what I was expecting), in the best way possible, and there are so many lessons I’m walking away with.
I witnessed so much beauty and pain this week. I saw women who knew no one, scared and lonely on the first day, who by day two were feeling at home (within themselves and with us), their inner child beaming, laughing and being goofy on the beach with women who were once strangers, now close friends. I saw women who had never met before befriend each other within 24 hours, offering hugs of comfort and support. I saw women say, “Come sit here” or “Let me scoot my mat over” as we set up to practice. I saw women walking onto the bus carrying ego and pride and then walking off that same bus 7 days later, vulnerable and open.
On top of it, I saw a new part of myself come to life, and it felt really good. In many ways, this week renewed within me how powerful this practice is, my purpose in this lifetime, and how ready I am for this next chapter in my life. I can say that without a doubt, I have caught the retreat “itch” and that this is just the beginning.
To the 24 women who took a leap of faith in me, in this retreat, and most importantly in themselves, there are no words. Our week together, with all the ups and downs, was exactly what it was meant to be - pure magic. Thank you for sharing your hearts with me - I can’t wait to continue to witness you “live your yoga”, wherever the monastery takes you.
xoxo
*For those interested in joining us next year, I will be hosting a weeklong women’s retreat at Sansara again next March (March 15th-21st, 2026), and a weekend retreat this fall here in the US. We will officially be opening the doors to sign up for both retreats next week.
You can subscribe to my newsletter here to be the first one notified when our doors officially open for sign-ups. I will offer the women who attended this year’s retreat a chance to sign up first, followed by those subscribed to our newsletter, before opening it up to the public.
All the feels all over again. This week was such a treasure and I loved seeing you in your power and purpose. Yes to more retreats, this is just the beginning!